She is the queen of all vibrators
We are more HIV positive than ever. But we haven’t erased some basic truths: women’s bodies are still being watched, sex education is still lacking, and talking about sex still carries a stigma. He created a network of whispers around sex and even mentioned the words female pleasure enough to make you blush. So this week we are discussing good sex and why it matters. Our mantra? Owning your sexual pleasure is a power.
Hello from your friend Amazon sex toy review lady! You know, the woman with the “straight goat legs, doesn’t step into the pink light, I don’t know if she’s ever picked up her kids from school” best vibrator review had she already tried? Yeah it’s me.
I never expected it to go viral in a million years. I just wanted to leave an honest, open, stupid review for a product that left a strong impression on me. (FYI, I got my kids back, I know a lot were worried. I can’t remember exactly how I got to school, but I limped my broken ass from side to side. )
I’m not much on Twitter – just turned 40, pretty much live on Facebook with all the other middle aged moms – so it took a much cooler friend of mine to find out my review had exploded on the Internet. Not only that, but Charm wanted to contact me. Me! Just your average suburban mom who loves sex toys. So here I am, ready to review sex toys from a busy mom’s perspective.
For my debut, Charm asked me to write about the best vibrator I have ever come across. Now I’m a girl with an arsenal of different vibrators for different moods. Sometimes I don’t want to forget my own name; Sometimes you just need to relax, you know? Still, there was no doubt in my mind that the Tracy’s Dog clitoral sucking vibrator, the one in my Amazon review posted in April, has stood the test of time.
I want to start off by saying no, Tracy’s Dog has not contacted me or compensated me in any way. That’s okay, because when it comes to me and my orgasm, no amount of money or loot could sway me anyway. I’m that friend who is brutally honest, good and bad – if I think something’s great, or sucks, I’ll give you my honest take on it. I’m the first to stand up and tell you how amazing you are, but also the first to tell you that your favorite dress is awful (if it is), because I love you. (But hey, if someone wanted to give me a lifelong supply of vibrators, I wouldn’t be crazy….)
Back to sex toys. I can say the Tracy’s Dog vibrator – the best vibrator I have ever tried – is still my favorite vibrator when I really want to curl my toes, grab the headboard until my knuckles are white-orgasm , as loud and as fast as possible.
With dual stimulation of the clitoris and G-spot, this is not really a slow, enjoyable type of toy. I wasn’t kidding when I wrote that seconds after using this little baby for the first time my legs came out straight like those goats that pass out when scared – I’ve never come so fast and strong in my life. I’m pretty sure I levitated (or at least pulled a muscle), my sex stoned soul leaving my body to greet God itself.
Now that Tracy and I know each other a little better, I know what to expect. I don’t back down and I only see God occasionally. When I see it, it’s more of a nod than a full spiritual experience. Then it’s back to earth that I go.
I have owned this vibrator since April 2019 and it is on strong rotation – so far it is still holding a charge and I have not had any issues. When I have shit to do but I’m horny as hell, this is the perfect vibrator. I never want to come back to my BV (before vibrator) life again.
I can’t wait to try other products. But I can’t wait to share my experience and thoughts on my sex life as a mother and as a woman in general. I’m a little nervous, because I don’t think I’ll ever write something as viral as this Amazon review, but if I can get some more laughs and get women and moms feel more comfortable talking about sex toys, that’s all i can really hope for.
Originally appeared on Charm