If you want to know how to get a guy to sue you, don’t cross that line
“Don’t call the boys.” This was my father’s advice to me as I navigated dating throughout my teenage years.
It was advice that I once thought was “old-fashioned,” but now understand as timeless wisdom. What my father knew, and I would find out soon, is that I wanted to be the one pursued in a relationship. If I were to snatch a date from a guy or ask him myself, any confidence I gained from being “strong” and “independent” would inevitably fade into doubt and mistrust of the guy’s true feelings. for me. Plus, most men won’t date a woman unless they’re a.) Interested and b.) Ready, no matter who sues whom. So, at the end of the day, chasing a man doesn’t really increase your chances of romantic success, only your chances of being disappointed.
Make no mistake, initiating or “taking the first step” is a stimulating and very natural thing for women in the dating and mating arena. According to research women are generally the choreographers of most of the first encounters. In fact, by studying and noting women’s nonverbal behaviors, such as eye contact and smiling, researchers were able to predict a man’s approach with 90% accuracy.
But the problem that many women face today is how to rectify the need to take the first step with the desire to be continued.
The difference can sometimes feel like a haircut, but when it comes to the laws of attraction, even the smallest of gestures can send the right or wrong message. So, to help clear up the confusion as best I can, here are three ways to tell if you’re just letting her know you’re interested or if you’re the one chasing.
When you text her first.
It’s one thing to casually give a guy your number and then leave the ball in his court. It’s a whole different thing to text or call a guy after a first date, looking for a date. It’s a fine line, but in a man’s mind it tends to make a difference. Giving a guy your number is a form of flirtation and a clear way to let a guy know that you are interested. On the other hand, calling or texting a guy, especially if you have no other excuse, is taking matters into your own hands. Ask a guy and he’ll probably tell you that, if he’s attracted to you, you’ll be warmly received either way. But that’s not really the point. The point is, you want to be the one being sued, and while there are exceptions to every rule, it’s a good idea to set a precedent right off the bat.
When you feel like you’ve filled in all the gaps.
I know a lot of women who are so afraid to make a man look like she’s trying to grab him, that she never throws a line at the poor guy. Guys need some clues. They need you to send them signals that you are interested by rewarding their introductions with a warm smile, asking questions that help keep the conversation going, making eye contact across the room, and suggesting. other days when you are available when the date he offers has won it doesn’t work.
That said, if you feel like you are filling in all the gaps, you may be doing more work than you need to. Things like finding him in a crowded room after he’s apologized for the conversation, contacting him when he’s not following up on a date as promised, or always being the first to start planning the date. followed him to remove the bullet from his seek. As men have reminded me time and time again, if a guy is truly in love with you and ready to move, he will.
When you have to plant yourself strategically in certain places to see it.
There is certainly nothing wrong with strategically meeting a guy you like, when you have the easy and natural opportunity. But there comes a time when allowing the possibility becomes a painful and persistent pursuit. I think that with a little self-esteem, every woman can identify where the line lies between useful initiation and pursuit. Ask yourself: Did you give him enough opportunities to make a move and he just didn’t? If so, it’s time to step back and not try so hard. That doesn’t mean you have to avoid it, but it does mean that you need to reassess your reasons for participating in certain social activities and let it go.
The most important thing to remember about all of this is that these rules of thumb are purely for you and your sense of peace when meeting men. So cast a line at the guy and wait for him to bite – and if he doesn’t, you can rest assured that you know you’re not chasing someone who isn’t interested.